Present

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with pure happiness.  I love my husband.  I love our daughter with all of my being, furiously.  I love the life we have created.  I may get overwhelmed and exhausted, but generally, I am happy every single day.  And even when there are such horrible things that happen around us, I cannot help but feel grateful for every single day that I get to kiss my husband and daughter goodnight.  When days get hard, I simply remember that not everyone has that privilege, and it brings me back to reality.  And within our own bubble, when I get too far ahead of myself worrying about our future, I remember that we are here together today, wrap my arms around Luca, and try to stay in the moment.

Day 10: A child's laughter

Ian hides behind the kitchen bar while Luca, wearing only her diaper, tries to find him.  He jumps out and scares her, and she giggles so much she can barely take a breath.  "I'm going to get you", he warns.  She takes off on her tippy toes running from him as he stomps behind her.  They are out of my sight now but all I can hear is the innocence in my child's laughter with the pitter patter of her feet and the stomping and laughter from Ian.  Carefree, spontaneous, laughter, joy.  And I think in these moments that my heart might explode into a thousand pieces.

The dramatic

I put my hair in the highest ponytail possible.  Then, I bob my head side to side, making the hair go wild in every direction, while I make goofy "bah-bah-bah-bah-bah" sounds.  I hear her response instantly.  A hearty belly laugh, followed by a high pitched squeal.

I stand, make a mad face, take my hand above my chest, and cough loudly, while patting my chest hard.  I hear her response instantly.  A hearty belly laugh, followed by a high pitched squeal.

I stand, raise my eyebrows, and dramatically say "ahhhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhh-choo" and during the last part, shake my head side to side while leaning forward.  I hear her response instantly.  A heart belly laugh, followed by a high pitched squeal.

And in these moments, my heart swells.  I repeat the same motions over and over again, just to hear her again and again.  I could do it all day long just to hear her precious voice.

I think she might have something in her future in drama.  The more dramatic the motion, the bigger response I get.

(P.S. - We are in the hospital.  I will try my best to continue posts during this time.)

Happiness

Happiness is pushing the stroller out of the hospital, with your baby in it.

Happiness is putting tons of bags in the car and breathing a sigh of relief when you get in it, and hear your baby cooing in the backseat.

Happiness is doing a dance when your husband hands you the carseat through the front door, and your baby has the biggest gummy smile for you.

Happiness is not letting go of your baby once you get her in the house, until finally, her eyes can no longer stay open and she's ready to go into her crib.

Happiness is listening to the gentle hum of your baby's sweet breaths through the baby monitor.

We are home from the hospital (again).  Happy.

TGIF

Every time Friday rolls around, I think two things.  It's Friday already?! AND thank goodness!  Normally by Friday I'm exhausted from the week of being a SAHM. And I also look forward to the weekend of spending time just the three of us.

This weekend, also happens to be my birthday weekend (tomorrow to be exact).  I normally make a big hoopla about my birthday, but this year, I'm just excited it's falling on a Saturday and that I have my two loves to share it with.  But it is a big celebration - it's my first birthday as a mama, with this little lady.

 The eyes - they kill me.  And do you see her fat dimple on the left side?  Hilarious.

*These pics were taken by my sister.

Happy Friday everyone!!

11.14.09

November 14th will always be remembered as the day we found out we'd no longer be a family of two.  I loved that day. 

One year later, we are spending the day together snuggling, soaking in our time together, giving kisses to sweet baby cheeks.  What an amazing year it's been.

Currently loving

Currently loving Crystal Light Pink Lemonade - I put it in a wine glass and it makes me happy :)

Light at the End of the Tunnel

The BIG paper was turned in on Tuesday and I finished my first exam yesterday.  As I turned in each of these pieces, I felt a little weight lift off my shoulders.  Along with that relief, I've felt a little happier.  I've been feeling a little more like myself the closer I get to finishing the rest of my exams.  Two more exams to go, and then I can devote all of my attention to Ian and Tessa, and this adorably active baby girl.  I am so incredibly excited!!

In baby related news, I've been looking for some cute thank you cards.  We've been accumulating more baby things from friends and family and I must get some thank you cards sent out.  Have any websites you'd recommend for baby related thank you cards?  Or any etsy sellers with cute baby thank you cards?

I saw this mug

I saw this mug at the grocery store and it stopped me in my tracks.  Just looking at it and thinking about drinking a cup of tea or coffee or ovaltine from it makes me smile.  Ian laughed and rolled his eyes as I snatched it up.  I stopped by Dunkin Donuts and got a decaf coffee and took it home to drink from my mug today.  It tastes heavenly to have coffee since I've drastically cut back on it - even without the caffeine.

I can't wait to take baby girl to get ice

I've mentioned my love for the ice stand at the end of our street more than a couple times on here.  I finally took a picture to show you just how cute it is.  It's located at the end of our street, at the edge of a church parking lot.  Directly next to it is some car shop.  It's incredibly old but the ice is amazing there.  One of the things I've loved about the summers in our neighborhood is that Ian and I will walk down the street after dinner, get some ice, walk back eating it, and then go to our 2nd story deck and sit and eat while Tessa lays on the deck next to us.

I have been anxiously awaiting the opening of the stand for the season.  Last night on my way home from my night class, Ian said he had a surprise for me.  I am looking for parking in front of our house and much to my surprise see people at the end of the street standing and walking with ice in their hands.  I called Ian before I could even get out of my car and said to hurry up and come outside so we can go get ice - the ICE STAND IS OPEN.  He insisted on me coming in to drop off my stuff first.

Wouldn't you know, he had already gone and gotten my ice for me when he got home and saw that it was open.  I was a very content lady as I sat and ate my delicious ice!

Baby girl will be much too young to experience the ice stand when she arrives in July, but I can't wait to take her there next summer.

Oh and for any Baltimorians out there, Icy Delights is having free ice day all day Saturday - stop by!

Friday Happenings

I have posted a lot this week people!  I hope you're not too overwhelmed with the amount of information I've thrown at you.  Or bored.  Or... Well I just hope you've enjoyed this many posts because the likelihood of it continuing once spring break is over is pretty low.

When we moved to Baltimore, we purchased lots of new items for the house.  Mainly, we got new stuff for the family room (couches, TV, ottoman).  Otherwise, the majority of our furniture are from moving out of our respective parents houses, or what we bought when we lived on our own out of college (not together at that point), or hand-me-downs from our families.

Our kitchen table though - it was Ian's parents from when they lived in France.  Ian moved to the U.S. from France when he was 15.  He's turning 30 this year.  This kitchen table is OLD.  It is at the top of our list to replace when I'm finished school and we have two incomes.  I'm sure it was super stylish when his parents had used it back in the day, but it's time for this baby to go.

Unfortunately, it is still serving its purpose and we just don't feel we can justify spending money on new table/chairs when we have more important things going on in our life (the big one, our sweet little girl and all of the stuff we need to get to prepare for her arrival). 

We were at Tar-get and Ian saw a tablecloth and said - why don't we just keep the table covered?  Hmm, simple solution, inexpensive, and could possibly hide a bit of the table?  Let's go for it!

Well, I'm LOVING it covered.  We bought a busy but dainty tablecloth for about $20.  Actually, this picture makes it look old-ladyish (no offense to old ladies), but I promise it looks much brighter and sunnier in person.  And I can't help but smile when I walk into the room and see it.  While I cannot wait to replace this table, I'm much happier with disguising it for now.

See:

I just took pictures of our guest room to post as before pictures.   I will be posting them next week, along with pictures along the way to transforming the guest room/exercise bike room/storage area into nursery for baby.  And then, next Thursday, her furniture is being delivered.  We measured everything out last night to decide where each piece is going.  It's so exciting to start this process!  And holy crap, we're getting so excited for her to be here (but little one, stay in there and keep growing for at least another 14 weeks).

In the meantime, here is one picture of the sliding glass doors in her room that I am currently researching.  Why?  Because these doors let in SO much heat during the warmer months, and the room is freezing during the cold months.  Also, see how much light they let in?  We need to block out that light for her naps.  Finally, we want the doors covered because I'll be breastfeeding and I want to feel comfortable without worrying about people people able to see in (it would be extremely difficult for anyone to see in anyways - but still).

We're looking into getting black-out drapes. From what I've read, they help no only block out light, but insulate the windows.  Anyone have experience with these?  Where did you get them?  I've found a bunch of places online, but they seem to be expensive and also we have to buy the black-out liner in addition to a curtain on top.  Even more pricey!  Any other recommendations?

Have a fabulous weekend! We have plans with friends, plans to work on the nursery, and I have plans to write this stinking paper.

Mmmm, Spring

Loving this weather today.  Just took a drive with the windows down - Tessa enjoyed it too!

Blanketed in White

You know how I kept saying I was looking forward to getting snowed in? Yes, well this should teach me to be careful what I wish for.

Friday night, we went to bed with some snow on the ground.  I woke up for one of my pee breaks at 3:00am, but decided not to look outside because I knew I'd just be too excited to go back to sleep if I saw a lot of snow.  I woke up for another pee break at 7:15.  I looked out the window and saw this:

I couldn't wait any longer so I woke Ian and Tessa up.  Ian moaned, clearly not ready to be getting up.  I ran to the 2nd bedroom and looked out onto our deck to see this:

We spent all of Saturday and Sunday shoveling our walkway, taking pictures in the snow, playing with Tessa, and shoveling our cars out.  And when it comes to the shoveling part, the "we" really means Ian because he wouldn't let me help with that part. 

I do admit that it was so beautiful, and still is beautiful.  But we're kind of still stuck in our house.  My car would be fine to handle this craziness except it goes above the wheelwell.  Oh, and I don't think I mentioned - but our stress hasn't seen a snow plow yet, and we're 48 hours post-snow storm.  In total, I think we measued just about 30 inches.  That's a lot of snow for Marylanders!  I am so grateful that our power stayed on the entire time so we stayed warm and cozy all weekend.

Luckily, school was cancelled today, and I'm hoping it might be again tomorrow, especially since we're expecting about 4-12 inches tomorrow aftertoon into Wednesday.  I also had to cancel my OB appointment as it was scheduled for this morning - so I'm hoping to be able to go later this week for my 17 week appointment!

Here are some pictures from the rest of our weekend!

Blizzard

Well, Baltimore is supposed to be getting an enormous amount of snow this weekend - some are saying anywhere from 18-26 inches, some are saying up to 40 inches (I think these people might be exaggerating just a little).  Either way, we're in for a weekend at home.  As much as I love when it snows, I hate that Marylanders freak out and feel they need to have every item from the grocery store, as if they're preparing to be stuck in homes for over a week.  Especially in Baltimore City - we won't be stuck for a week!  I think we'll be good by Monday.  Do I need to go and buy toilet paper to last me 6 months, and 6 gallons of milk?  YES! IT'S GOING TO SNOW - WE NEED TO PREPARE TO BUNKER DOWN. The sad thing is, I do need to get toilet paper because we're kind of cutting it close.  I am not looking forward to standing in line for hours - so I'm hoping I can wait until most people will be back home (once it really starts snowing today) and it'll be less crowded.

The professor who cancelled class on Wednesday cancelled class today too!  I love this guy.  Any form of snow that is expected to stick scares him so much that he cancels class.  He's this adorable old little man (probably about 75-80 years old), who also happens to be a fantastic professor.  I wonder if he is prepared to cancel next Wednesday's class too considering we're supposed to get more snow on Tuesday night??  We'll see!

So on my agenda today is to get work done and go to my dentist appointment today.  I HATE the dentist.  I'm trying out a new dentist because, well this is embarrassing, but I haven't been to the dentist since we moved to Baltimore - in 1.5 years.  Ew.  I made an appointment for Ian today as well - he hates the dentist more than I do and I'm not going to even admit how long it's been since he's been.

We'll be bunkering down (that phrase sends me into giggles!!) (with clean teeth!!) watching the beautiful snow fall.  Ian will be busy doing things around the house - cleaning out areas so we can make room for all of the new stuff we'll soon be accumulating for baby.  I'll be reading. And reading. And reading. 

Happy weekend!

Snow

Loving that we got snow!

Grateful

Since tomorrow's post will be short, today's post will cover what I would've been writing for tomorrow, on Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  While I love Christmas decorations and music a ton, I love that Thanksgiving is a holiday that revolves around just spending time with family and eating great food.  I love that there's no pressure to find the perfect gift, no money stresses from all the gifts, and there's no let down at the end of the day like I sometimes find there is on Christmas.

It's also a time of year that I sit and remember what I've been grateful for this year.  I am incredibly grateful that I made it through my first year of law school.  I am so lucky to have Ian in my life, supporting me day in and day out.  Even more so, I am grateful that through law school, the stressful times actually strengthened our relationship, when they really could've hurt it.  I have a family who is so supportive and loving.  I have awesome in-laws who treat me as part of the family.  I have an adorable puppy who makes me smile everyday.  And my friends, my true friends, have been understanding and loyal over the last year.

And I've had so many awesome experiences this year - summer job, weddings, celebrations, vacations, and so much laughter.

I'm thankful for all of it.  And thank you readers, for staying with me along the way. 

What are you grateful for this year?

Sunday Funday

We start out going to church, then get our weekly grocery shopping done, then come home and fix a big breakfast together.  Then we promptly head upstairs, put our pj's on (and I put my glasses on instead of wearing contacts),throw on our slippers and head back downstairs to lay on the couch with Tessa.  We spend the rest of the day watching football, talking, and snuggling with a blanket.  Somewhere in between games, I normally throw something on the stove or oven that requires very little effort.  Today, I'll throw a bunch of ingredients in a pan and stick it in the oven so we can have braised short ribs for dinner.  Amazing smells from the food slowly cooking reach us on the couch, making us love Sundays that much more.

What a perfect day.

Spinner

I remember playing this game growing up.  My family were huge game people, or rather, my mom was so therefore we all were.  But this particular game is not common, but one of my favorites.  I remember playing this with my grandma in Texas when I was young, and seeing my normally calm and reserved grandma become a little rowdy. 

It's called Spinner.  During the summers in college, it was kind of a ritual with a few of my bests to play this game at my parent's house, drink way too much, and eat steak-ums until 1, 2, 3, 4 in the morn.  We've introduced this game to Ian's parents, Kim and Jeremy, and countless others.  I played it when I went to visit my brother while he was in college and I was still in high school.  That was quite a scene.  About 6 college soccer players, and me (15 years old at the time), all sitting and playing a game.

I don't know what it is about this game.  It's a bit more lengthy than other games (about an hour for 4 people to play one entire game).  It brings out tons of different angry emotions (I won't repeat what Ian's mom called me when I messed up her next move).  Normally, everyone starts out calmly, almost like we're bored.  But within a few minutes, people start livening up and getting into the game. 

Funny how I cannot even remember who introduced us to this game.  I may not be able to pinpoint what specifically is so fantastic about this game, but I do know that I love it, and that all of the memories I have of playing this game revolve around laughter and talking with friends. 

Opportunity

I mentioned awhile ago that an amazing opportunity came into my life. Towards the end of my time in clinic, one of my supervisors approached me about a for-credit job opportunity for the fall. I was planning on continuing in Clinic, but as a 2nd year clinic student (a Clinic II student to be exact). The roles shift a bit and instead of being newbies, you get to help out Clinic I students (like what I was this summer).

The opportunity that was presented to me, however, was a bit different. I would be working for a fantastic professor, who also happens to be an amazing criminal defense litigator who teaches attorney better litigation skills. I had worked with this professor a little bit over the summer on one of my trials and thought he was not only incredibly talented, but he wants students to learn and absorb as much information as possible. And he has the expertise to do this.

So I went and interviewed for the position and got it! I am helping him with his fall caseload for his criminal defense clinic and am considered a teaching assistant (a bit different from being just a Clinic II student). I help his Clinic I students prepare for trials and will be having some of my own clients as well.

I had been pretty disappointed in July when I found out that I didn't get onto a fairly prestigious board at school. But hindsight is certainly 20/20 because now that I see how much crap work those people are doing that are on the board (I don't mean crap work in terms of the quality - I mean that the work seems incredibly tedious and boring. I do not want to give you the impression that the people that are on the board are anything short of incredibly bright, talented individuals!). But now that I see that, I can see it happened for a reason. I absolutely LOVED the work I did this summer, and cannot wait to embark on an area of law that is new to me, under the supervision of such an amazing professor, helping students who were in my position just a few months ago. One door closes, another opens!

Coming Around

I was kind of a weepy mess last week due to my great-aunt's hospitalization. Since she is a nun, her 'sisters' make sure that someone is with her at all times in the hospital. I called to her room and had the sister put the phone up to her ear. I heard her breathing the whole time while I told her I love her and want her to get better. She didn't respond whatsoever.

As of Thursday, the doctors weren't feeling very good about things. She was no longer opening her eyes. But still, they couldn't find out what was wrong.

One of her sisters went to visit on Friday and walked into the room and my aunt was standing near the sink all by herself. She called her name and my aunt turned around and said "yes?" The nurse came in and they helped get her back to bed. But my little 88 year old aunt, is still fiesty as can be, always surprising us. Evidently, the railings were up in her bed but she had managed to climb over them and wheel her IV pole over to the sink. Since then, she's been alert, talking and up and about.

They transferred her to a convent's hospital yesterday and the doctors think she'll make a pretty full recovery. Still unsure of what happened, they are saying she had a stroke based on the symptoms. She can speak but sometimes her sentences go to gibberish. Honestly I don't care what happened - I am just so happy she's still with us. It simply wasn't her time.

And that guilt I had - I'm going to make sure I get rid of that guilt. We are heading to visit her in 3 weeks! And in true Cyrilla style, she's been watching her beloved Yankees in the hospital room. I'm sure she's bitter she can't wear her jersey and hat!