A Debatable Topic and a Weekly Check Up

Being married to someone from Europe means that there are cultural differences.  For example, throughout this pregnancy, I have really been a stickler about not drinking, much to Ian's and his family's surprise.  It's certainly more accepted in Europe to continue having a little wine here and there throughout pregnancy. 

Once I found out I was pregnant, I pretty much cut it out of my system.  Once I got to the 3rd trimester, if Ian was drinking wine and he said it was an especially great glass, I'd occasionally take a mini sip just to sample it.  More recently, I've allowed myself to have a 1/2 glass every few weeks.  The first time I did this was at our 2nd wedding anniversary dinner.  I drank 1/2 glass of delicious wine over the span of 2 hours.  Last night, I had about 1/2 glass throughout dinner and my bath afterwards (over about 3 hours).  It got me to thinking, that some women would probably be judging me if they saw me doing that.  Some people are shocked that I would have any, even a sip.  My feeling is that a little bit here and there, especially this late in pregnancy, and with how little I drink over a several hour time span is okay. I'm not doing it everyday, or even on a weekly basis.  My birthing instructor even suggested to have a glass of wine towards the end of pregnancy to help the body relax a little bit. 

EDITED TO ADD: As a sidenote, I cut out just about everything else that wasn't "safe" for pregnancy.  No deli meats, no unpasteurized cheeses, no caffeine (well probably a little bit in my decaf coffee I occasionally have), and really avoided even the occasional tylenol.  This post really only relates to my alcohol intake.

What are your thoughts on the subject?  Have you found yourself to be the strict, none whatsoever type, or have you had a sip here and there?

I had a weekly check-up today and everything is going smoothly.  Blood pressure, weight, and baby's heart rate are all great.  Baby girl's head is down, facing down, and the rest of her body is sideways (which is just about how it should be).  Once again, I opted not to have a cervical check.  It makes the waiting game a little more bearable for me to not know exactly how much progress I have made.  I'm practicing patience, and just trying to relax and let things happen on their own without much stress on my part.  I love that we will get to meet our little one anyday - I can't wait to meet eyes with her!

Getting Ready

Baby girl has officially dropped.  I knew she had started dropping over a week ago - but I woke up yesterday and thought "my belly feels different."  I felt where the top of my uterus sat, and sure enough it's super duper low now.  And now, I'm peeing even more often.  The books say that once baby starts dropping, the average person goes into labor 2-4 weeks later.  But obviously, this is different for every person. 

So who knows when this little one will greet us.  I am so excited though!

We had a great weekend full of being together and being out and about with friends.  We also made it to the farmer's market yesterday - something I LOVE doing, but probably won't be able to do once baby girl is here.  While there, I noticed I was having real contractions.  By the time we got back home, I knew for sure I was having real ones.  We decided to hang out for a bit to time them.  For the next couple hours, they were about 7-8 minutes apart.  Then they fizzled out.  I think it just means my body is getting more ready - something I am totally open to!  It gave me a chance to practice being relaxed during and in between them. 

We also got our car seats installed.  Now, I know a lot of people install them by themselves.  But we found out about a company that teaches car seat installation for the safest ride for babies and we decided to use this service.  If you're in the Baltimore or New York areas, I HIGHLY recommend using The Car Seat Lady.  We went out to Debbi's house and she certainly proved that she knows her stuff.  She knows each car and each car seat.  We were there for about 2 hours - but it was something that was well worth the time.  We feel like we know how to install them properly, and know the car seat perfectly now. 

All in all, a very productive and FUN weekend!

Cloth Diapering (Part II)

You can read about our decision to cloth diaper in my Cloth Diapering (Part I) post.

Once we made the decision to go with cloth diapers, we were overwhelmed with the amount of choices there are out there!  Holy moly it's confusing.  Prefolds, pocket, all-in-one, one size, fitted cloth, hybrids, etc.  Where do we even start?

I read up on a lot of different bloggers and what they were using.  I figured we'd likely have to pick a few different kinds we liked and test them out to see which ones work best for baby girl and our style.  But I wasn't sure I wanted to register for them online or not.

Luckily, a friend here in Baltimore pointed us to Soft and Cozy Baby.  It's a new cloth diapering store here in Baltimore (Hampden to be exact) that sells all kinds of brands.  We checked it out so we could see and feel the different types of diapers.

We ultimately registered for several different kinds.  The brands we're trying out are GroBaby (which are now being called GroVia), Fuzzibunz Perfect Size, BunGenius One Size Pocket, and G Diapers. 

I love how far cloth diapers have come.  They are now stylish with all their adorable colors, and much easier than the old fashioned prefolds with covers/clips.  I can't wait to try them out.  Cloth Diapering (Part III) will be coming after baby girl arrives and we have time to try them out!

Weekly Check-up and Our Birth "Plan"

Baby girl is still head down (yay!).  She has dropped a bit which is a good sign that things are progressing.  I also took in our birth "plan" and went over it with our midwife.  She signed off on every request except one, which is fine!  I also found out that I am negative for Group B Strep which means I can labor at home as long as possible and do not need antibiotics a few hours before I deliver baby girl.  Yippee!  I lost 4 pounds since last week.  I asked if that was okay - she said yep.  Apparently it's not abnormal for women to lose some weight during their last month.  I have noticed that I am not eating quite as much as I had been - either my belly is just too small to feel hungry, or baby girl is slowing down on her growth and getting ready. 

Writing a birth plan was interesting.  It made us think about so many different debatable topics.  A lot of our requests revolve around having a natural birth and our choice to use the hypnobirthing method.  I should add here for my readers that I have nothing against anyone choosing a different plan than us.  It is simply what we chose for us because it fits for my personality.  I'm not very granola - but rather I really freak out about medical procedures and rather endure some pain than deal with needles or medication (it makes me feel weird).  Do I think natural has less risks?  Yes.  But that's not my opinion, that's based on each individual situation.  My belief is that all couples should do their research, become educated, and then make a decision that fits for them!

We referred to our birth plan as our "Birth Preferences."  It sounded a little nicer than "plan", and it also reinforced the idea that as much as I have requests, truly the baby and my body are in charge of how things go. 

We began with a letter to the doctors/midwives/nurses/other staff.  We both signed the letter and included a picture of Ian and I, just to make it a little more personal. 

Then our birth preferences begin.  I included a section on requests prior to admission to the hospital, during the laboring stage, during the actual delivery stage, in case of emergency (if I end up needing an emergency c-section), and requests for baby.  I had hoped that I could avoid having a hep-lock - but unfortunately it is required for labor and delivery patients (my midwife would not have an issue with it, but the hospital will not admit me for labor and delivery without one in place).  Either way, the good news is that I will not have to be hooked up to fluids or anything so I will be free to move about as I need to. 

She was interested to hear about why we are choosing to have baby girl screened with a pulse oximeter while she's in the hospital.  I told her about Cora's Story, and our reasoning for choosing this.  She was intrigued and asked that I write a letter to the head of the hospital informing him of the trend to push for this simple test.  I think I most certainly will do so.

So we're finished with our birth preferences and now labor and delivery has it.  One by one, our to-do list is growing smaller...finally.  Someone asked me if I went into labor, would I feel ready now?  I think so!  (did you hear that little one - anytime now!).

Recent Craving

A corona with a lime...this warm weather makes me crave one.  And a margarita!

Skeptical

I went to the chiropractor for the first time on Friday.  I mentioned that I've heard from various people that chiropractor appointments the last few weeks of pregnancy can help when it comes time to labor and delivery. 

I'm very skeptical of chiropractors.  It seems like the people I've know who have gone, end up addicted and the only way they feel comfortable is to continue going to be readjusted.  I was worried about what it would be like.

I have to say, I really like this doctor.  He's very patient and has worked with tons of pregnant women before.  He seems to think I just need to go to him a hand full of times before baby girl arrives. 

He started off by going over some medical history, and history of sports activities, and any problems or pain I am or have experienced.  Then, he put stim wires on my upper shoulder/neck area, and heat on my back for about 15 minutes.  I liked that part - it was relaxing!

Then I laid down on this weird table that has an opening where your spine is.  This big thing comes up out of the opening and massages your spine and the muscles on both sides.  I stayed on that for about 5-10 minutes.  It felt good - but my heartburn is worse when I'm on my back so I found that to be a bit uncomfortable.

Finally, he feels my back and hips and neck and shoulders.  He massages my shoulders and back a little bit.  Then, he adjusts the areas that need to be adjusted.  Interestingly, two little bumps I've always felt in one side of my neck are actually two spots that aren't aligned properly.  I always thought they were knots - but that's not the case.  And sure enough, after he adjusted both sides of my neck and my shoulders, the bumps in my neck were gone. So in total, I needed 4 areas adjusted - my hips, mid back, shoulders, and neck.  The only area that I didn't love being readjusted was my neck - it felt kind of odd and freaked me out a little bit (because of the sound).

He warned me that I might be sore - and I was on Friday night.  But by Saturday night, I was feeling pretty normal again.  I went back today for my 2nd appointment and will go back on Wednesday for my 3rd appointment.  After that, the appointments should taper off - probably just a few more times over the next few weeks.

Overall, am I sold on the services - no.  It really hasn't made me feel any differently.  And I am still skeptical.  Would I recommend it to other pregnant women? Well, my lower back feels a little less sore.  But really, I'll let you know after baby girl arrives.  If my labor goes smoothly, then I'd probably say to try it!

Hospital Gown

I wrote about going to the hospital a few weeks ago for what turned out to be a kidney stone.  I had to change into a hospital gown when I got there.

I soon realized what a pain in the butt the hospital gowns are.  Every time they had to put a monitor on the baby, or feel my belly, I had to pull up the gown all the way, exposing my lower regions in the process.  Between that, and the fact that every time I had to pee, I had to try to close the back of the gown so my butt wasn't being shown to everyone, I realized why people buy their own maternity gowns.  Imagine being very big and pregnant, trying to discreetly maneuver out of a hospital bed without showing things you'd prefer to remain a bit more prviate.  Ian was giggling each time I tried to get to the bathroom to pee.  Getting out of bed in general is a major task these days, then add the fact that I have to hold the gown closed and keep my legs nicely together - it wasn't working very well.

So I ended up looking into maternity hospital gowns.  I want to feel comfortable when I'm in the hospital - or as comfortable as possible considering what I'll be there for.  Some of the gowns were over $100 - something I could not justify!

I read about another blogger using this kind, and decided to order it.  I tried it on yesterday and love it.  And you really cannot beat the price!  The parts I loved about this one - it provides a little bit of chest support, has tied openings for them to monitor the baby without pulling the entire gown up, and it will be super easy to breastfeed baby girl without exposing my entire chest.  It's soft, and I love the colors.  I highly recommend it!  It's Pretty Pushers Delivery Gown that I found on amazon for $24.  Score!

Babies cost a lot of money...and she isn't even here yet!

I seriously have been lacking a lot of motivation recently.  I think this is what they call the 3rd trimester exhaustion.  I really WANT to get things done, but when it comes time to finding the energy to do so, I'm so not interested. Then another day goes by, and I feel guilty that I did not get much accomplished.  I hate feeling guilty. 

I woke up yesterday feeling much the same.  But something happened during the day, and suddenly, I had this burst of motivation.  It was glorious!  Just to prove how much motivation I had, this is what I was able to accomplish:

• ordered/sent 3 wedding gifts (2 were super belated)
• ordered/sent 2 bridal shower gifts
• ordered my maternity hospital gown (more on this in my next post)
• filled out a packet of information for our doula and sent it to her
• filled out a packet of information for the hospital and sent it
• bought myself new slippers (more on this in my next post)
• ordered Ian's anniversary present
• picked up my prescription
• talked to and set up an appointment with our tentative pediatrician (more on this later)
• read a lot in my breastfeeding book

As you can see, yesterday also involved dishing out a ton of money.  I absolutely love being included in showers and weddings and other life celebrations - but it seems like all we're doing these days is spending money.  Money for the baby stuff, money to the hospital, to the doctors, money for presents for people.  A whole lot of money.  Money is stressing me out at the moment! 

But the good thing is, the majority of our big purchases for the baby (furniture, stroller, car seats) were either taken care of by family, or we have already taken care of.  And honestly, I guess we just have to get used to the fact that babies and kids cost a lot of money!  It's amazing how much we've spent on baby girl, and she isn't even here yet.  And we're even trying to do things to cut back on spending for her (cloth diapers, no daycare for the first 6 months, not splurging a ton except for her furniture really, and looking into buying lightly used clothing from friends of friends).

Just to give those out there who are about to embark on starting a family a clue as to what type of money to expect, here's a little breakdown for you.

My recommendation to people looking to start families is to put some money away for all of these things.  Our hospital bill alone will cost us about $1200 (that's the bare minimum, assuming we have no medications or complications).  The insurance plan we're on (even though it's the best one offered through Ian's company) pays 80% and we're responsible for 20%.  That's a lot of money!  Obviously, if your insurance plan is better than this, you won't have to dish out this much.  But honestly, we didn't really know how much it would cost us until we were already pregnant and talked to the hospital.

Then, add in the 20% of all these doctor visits, ultrasounds, bloodwork, random hospital visits (thanks kidney stone), and we're looking at about another $1000. 

We also have opted to use a doula (which you read about here and here).  This adds more costs.  We looked into a doula service that is free.  While the idea was super appealing to us (and the doulas are through a huge medical hospital in Baltimore), some things about the service weren't for us (mainly that we couldn't pick which doula we'd use, and if all of the doulas were already called for births before us, then we could end up without anyone).  So we opted to interview a few doulas and ultimately pick one.  The total cost (which some should be covered by our insurance) is $700.

There are also baby classes.  I'm sure you could opt for cheaper classes - but you need to find a birthing class that works for you.  As you know, we're currently taking hypnobirthing classes.  Total cost: $325 (also, some of this may be covered by insurance - get a receipt and submit it to find out!).  We're also taking a baby care class (for cpr as well as basic baby care like bathing, changing diapers, etc.), and a breastfeeding class.  These two classes cost $65 (what a steal in comparison to everything else!).

So those costs alone total:  $3290.  And guys, that's only the medical costs and preparation costs associated with the birth of our baby.  That's without the furniture, breast pump, stroller, car seats, day care, diapers, swings, clothes, books, maternity clothes, etc.

I put all this information out there because, for us, we did not realize how much starting a family would cost us.  Since this pregnancy was an unexpected (exciting!) surprise, we had not financially prepared for it as much as we would have liked.  So start saving now if you are thinking about having kids.  You'll be happy when all of these expenses come up, to already have the money sitting in an account.  It won't hit your monthly income if you've planned.

So there you have it - my motivation is back.  And babies cost a whole lot of money.

Baby's Position

Two great websites for figuring out what position your baby is in.

Optimal Fetal Positioning

and

Spinning Babies

Cloth Diapering (Part I)

The diaper debate...cloth v. disposable seems to be a hot topic in parent-land.  People have very strong opinions one way or the other.  I'm going to share what we're doing and hope you'll share your opinions on it as well.

It seems as if there's a trend of people going back to cloth.  I approached the topic much like I did with labor and delivery decisions:  I was skeptical and wanted to know what the big deal was.  Well, I learned quite a few things and a couple facts stood out as being important to me.  The environmental impact that disposable diapers leave on our earth is insane.  Even if we could cut down on that impact a little bit, it was an interest to me.  Also, everyone talks about the price of cloth being so much cheaper.  Well, I think it depends on what type of cloth diaper you plan on using.  If you're going to use the prefolds with a cover, then I think this is absolutely cheaper.  If you're going to use the fancy schmancy cloth diapers, it probably is still slightly cheaper than doing disposable, especially if you plan on using them for siblings.  Finally, babies who wear cloth diapers tend to get less diaper rash and potty train sooner than kids in disposables.

The downsides that were important to me:  the time it takes to use cloth (the laundry, care, etc.); the fact that you have to change the baby's diaper much more often (this is also somewhat of a good thing for baby at least, not so fun for mom and dad who have to get up through the night to change the diapers); the upfront cost of buying all of the diapers.

I won't go into more details than that...some other bloggers have done a fantastic job explaining the pros and cons.  If you're more interested, take a look at Julia's post on why she and her husband chose to go cloth.

We weighed our options and looked into both cloth and disposable diapers.  We decided that with our lifestyle the way it is right now, we want to try to go the cloth diaper route.  Baby girl will be home with us the first 6 months, so we really do have the time to devote to trying it out.  She won't be in daycare until she's about 6 months old.  It makes sense for us.  We'll likely still have a stash of disposables for when we're traveling or when cloth diapering just won't work.  But cloth diapering has come such a long way that it seems more manageable than it used to be. 

So yep - we're going to try the cloth diapers.  I will go into more detail about cloth diaper shopping - how we're choosing the right cloth diaper, and where we've shopped for them in another post.  Stay tuned!

Our first class was last night

We had our first birthing class last night.  I was filled with excitement and was also slightly nervous.  We decided to take the hypnobirthing class - 5 weeks in a row, for 2 hours each week.  The method makes sense for me, but would the class?  Would the class be too far out there, a little too modern or flowy or mumbo jumbo to me?  Would the people be like me, or all-out hippies? (sidenote - I have absolutely nothing against hippies.  In fact, if you saw pictures of the hubby from college, you'd agree with me that he was a total hippy.  I just don't happen to be an all out hippy - although apparently I do have some hippy qualities about me - but that's a whole other story.)

I was very pleasantly surprised that most of the other couples seemed normal, and that the instructor is totally awesome.  She's upbeat and friendly and warm all together. 

The first class was a bit of a review for us as we had gotten the book on our own months ago.  It was basically going over what the method is all about, the philosophy behind it, and the reasoning.  But it did help me reaffirm that I totally think this is an awesome method - and the skills you learn can be used outside of birthing as well.  I've heard of people who have used this method, using the skills in situations that make them anxious or stressed.  Even better for me!  I may have to employ some of these techniques to help control my general anxiety.

We watched a few short videos.  One video was really informative.  Dateline NBC did a feature on whether childbirth can really be painless.  This was back in 1998 or 1999.  It looks at it from a very skeptical perception - so for those out there thinking, yeah right, I don't buy it, this video is really inspiring.  I found it online if you're interested in checking it out - it's pretty short.  Here's the link to it - it's the 4th video down, titled "HypnoBirths on Dateline".

Then we also watched a couple of births.  While the women were very calm and focused in them, which totally inspired me, watching the baby actually come out of the lady bits was icky to me.  I mean, the baby part was beautiful - the blood and other fluids coming out made my eyes open like a deer caught in headlights.  I don't do well with blood.  Ian told me that I should probably not watch those parts in the videos anymore - I agree!

And last, we did one hypnosis exercise.  It was awesome.  The instructor had each of us (even the Dads) get comfortable, close our eyes, and then she walked us through a scenario.  This particular scenario was about being in a kitchen you are comfortable in, with your favorite food cooking, and cutting into a lemon on a cutting board, then biting the lemon.  It felt so real that I swore I could actually smell the food, the lemon, and my mouth started salivating when I imagined biting into the lemon.  And when we were asked to open our eyes, my entire body was heavy and relaxed from the exercise.  So weird, but really fascinating at the same time.

We left with our relaxation cd, and are instructed to listen to it everyday.  We got home last night - exhausted from a long day, and put the relaxation cd on as we fell asleep.  Such a peaceful way to end the day.

Maryland Cesarean Rates by Hospital

In case you're in the Maryland area and looking for such information, here it is.  That blog has lots of great information!  Also, I think it lists cesarean rates for other states as well.

Neighborhood Social and 27 Week Pictures

For those parents (expecting or not) living in the Baltimore area, I highly recommend becoming a part of the Downtown Baltimore Family Alliance.  I joined our neighborhood's listserv and it has proved very valuable for getting my questions answered, finding used items, finding out about local kid-friendly events, getting info. on available nannies and different daycares, etc. 

Last night, we attended our first event that is hosted by the organization.  It was a social for new and expecting parents held at Langermann's in Canton.  There was free food and (non alcoholic) drinks.  And most importantly, there were lots of people in our position - either pregnant or have a newborn at home.  I think it was a better social if you alread have a newborn at home.  I only saw 3 other pregnant ladies there.  I think this was the case because the majority of people don't realize they need a resource like this until after the baby is here.  But it was helpful to talk to some of the people helping out at the event to get some of our questions answered.  I also chatted with someone about the OB practice I am currently with, and thinking of switching out of.  So that was a great thing.  Overall, we'll definitely be hitting up these socials in the future - there are 4 per year and the next one is in July, right before I'm due. 

And here are my 27-week pictures, taken right as we got home from the social (Ian is totally making me laugh in the first picture, and the 2nd picture is me desperately trying to not laugh for the pictures).

Things not to say to a pregnant lady

I don't know what it is about bring pregnant, but it brings out the best and worst stories from people.  People love to tell their horror birth stories - which is something that just creates fear in everyone's minds.  Lots of other things people bring up have either offended me, upset me, or have just been plain weird.  Here's a list:

1. Horror birth stories.  I mentioned this above - but seriously, why do people like sharing this?!
2. What I should be doing differently.  Most of the decisions I make about this pregnancy are ones I discuss with Ian, look into, and make an educated decision on based on our lifestyle and needs.  Stop telling me I'm doing something wrong, or I should be doing it your way.
3. What I'm feeling isn't normal at this time in my pregnancy, or at all.  I'm feeling what I'm feeling so people saying "oh that doesn't happen until the 3rd trimester" or "that should only really be happening in the first trimester" are frustrating.  If I'm experiencing a symptom, I'm experiencing whether it's supposed to be happening or not.
4. Sharing opinions on the name.  I'm SO glad we're opting not to share our name choices with anyone because I've heard so many stories recently of pregnant women's families or friends saying "omigosh, you're really going to call your child insert name that they clearly don't agree with".  And since we're on the topic, when people find out we're not sharing the name, several people have said "just so long as it isn't ______(insert random name that they hate)."  Stop sharing your name opinions!  We all have different ideas about what makes a great or crappy name.  Ultimately, parents make the decision based on their tastes, backgrounds, culture, etc.  My advice: just smile and keep your mouth shut. 

and finally, the one that is really making me crazy:

Natural birth? WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT TO YOURSELF?  These types of comments are driving me bananas.  Also, when you ask what my birth plan is and I say our goal is to go naturally, the most horrible response is "yeah, good luck with that" with a rolling of the eyes.  Look, I don't judge people for not going the natural route, especially because I'm open-minded and realize that people have different labors - we all experience different amounts and types of pain.  And I'm also fully aware that serious things can happen and people need to have medical interventions (careful monitoring, bedrest, epidurals, other pain medication, c-sections, etc.), and I'm so grateful we have this technology available for emergencies.  My advice: Please be careful what you say to people about their birth plans.  Especially for me, when I'm doing a ton of research and personal reflection on what risks I want to take during the delivery, what is best for me and baby, and what type of birth I want for my daughter, it kills me to have someone question me.  Now, if in the middle of labor, I end up needing some type of medical intervention either out of necessity or preference, that is my decision to make with Ian, our OB and doula. 

I don't mind if people give me their honest opinion of what worked for them.  I am just bothered when people question our decision that we have spent so much time discussing.  People ask me: "you know it's going to hurt like nothing you've felt before?"  Ummm, really, no shit.  I'm pushing a watermelon out of my hoohah, of course it's going to hurt.  That's why it's called labor - our bodies are laboring for the arrival of a human being.  It's not a walk in the park!  It's difficult and tiring but you know what, I have had an uncomplicated pregnancy thus far, it seems my body is working very well and I have faith that my body can do this.  Even more so, I have faith that I can mentally do this.  I almost feel that people are offended at the idea of me wanting to go naturally.  I normally just let it slide, but in the back of my head I'm thinking - there is SO much data out there about risks increasing for mom and baby with the greater number of interventions, why wouldn't I at least try to deliver in a way that minimizes risks?  It's just logical to me.

Anyways, those are some of the things I'd recommend being careful with.

Any of you mamas out there have any to add to this list?