- Horror birth stories. I mentioned this above - but seriously, why do people like sharing this?!
- What I should be doing differently. Most of the decisions I make about this pregnancy are ones I discuss with Ian, look into, and make an educated decision on based on our lifestyle and needs. Stop telling me I'm doing something wrong, or I should be doing it your way.
- What I'm feeling isn't normal at this time in my pregnancy, or at all. I'm feeling what I'm feeling so people saying "oh that doesn't happen until the 3rd trimester" or "that should only really be happening in the first trimester" are frustrating. If I'm experiencing a symptom, I'm experiencing whether it's supposed to be happening or not.
- Sharing opinions on the name. I'm SO glad we're opting not to share our name choices with anyone because I've heard so many stories recently of pregnant women's families or friends saying "omigosh, you're really going to call your child insert name that they clearly don't agree with". And since we're on the topic, when people find out we're not sharing the name, several people have said "just so long as it isn't ______(insert random name that they hate)." Stop sharing your name opinions! We all have different ideas about what makes a great or crappy name. Ultimately, parents make the decision based on their tastes, backgrounds, culture, etc. My advice: just smile and keep your mouth shut.
and finally, the one that is really making me crazy:
Natural birth? WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT TO YOURSELF? These types of comments are driving me bananas. Also, when you ask what my birth plan is and I say our goal is to go naturally, the most horrible response is "yeah, good luck with that" with a rolling of the eyes. Look, I don't judge people for not going the natural route, especially because I'm open-minded and realize that people have different labors - we all experience different amounts and types of pain. And I'm also fully aware that serious things can happen and people need to have medical interventions (careful monitoring, bedrest, epidurals, other pain medication, c-sections, etc.), and I'm so grateful we have this technology available for emergencies. My advice: Please be careful what you say to people about their birth plans. Especially for me, when I'm doing a ton of research and personal reflection on what risks I want to take during the delivery, what is best for me and baby, and what type of birth I want for my daughter, it kills me to have someone question me. Now, if in the middle of labor, I end up needing some type of medical intervention either out of necessity or preference, that is my decision to make with Ian, our OB and doula.
I don't mind if people give me their honest opinion of what worked for them. I am just bothered when people question our decision that we have spent so much time discussing. People ask me: "you know it's going to hurt like nothing you've felt before?" Ummm, really, no shit. I'm pushing a watermelon out of my hoohah, of course it's going to hurt. That's why it's called labor - our bodies are laboring for the arrival of a human being. It's not a walk in the park! It's difficult and tiring but you know what, I have had an uncomplicated pregnancy thus far, it seems my body is working very well and I have faith that my body can do this. Even more so, I have faith that I can mentally do this. I almost feel that people are offended at the idea of me wanting to go naturally. I normally just let it slide, but in the back of my head I'm thinking - there is SO much data out there about risks increasing for mom and baby with the greater number of interventions, why wouldn't I at least try to deliver in a way that minimizes risks? It's just logical to me.
Anyways, those are some of the things I'd recommend being careful with.
Any of you mamas out there have any to add to this list?