3rd birthday

I have said every year that we will always be up for celebrating L's birthday in a big way.  We are grateful for everyday we get to spend with her.

Her birthday turned out to be a beautiful day.  In August, you never know just how hot it will be on a given day in DC so we scheduled her party for late morning.  We lucked out - it was in the 80's, sunny, and just gorgeous.  We had some lunch and snacks and finished off with ice cream cake and cupcakes.  We had water activities outside for the kiddos.  And family and friends surrounding us.

Luca was a bit of a diva and wanted to do her own thing.  She ran around the yard being a bit antisocial.  But, she is 3 so I had to remind myself to chill out and let her be.  She was not being mean or rude - just independent and a free-spirit.  I can't really complain about that.

A few pictures, courtesy of my my sister, Beth!  Thanks to everyone who continues to shower our little girl with love!

Three

And in the blink of an eye, this sweet thing turned three.  Happy birthday, Luca! (A more detailed post coming soon.)

Lions, Tigers and Bears, Oh my!

When Ian took off a couple of days of work, we decided to head into DC on the metro and see the zoo.  It was Luca's first time on the metro, and at the National Zoo.  She loved it, even with the heat.  I'm not sure what she loved more - the metro ride, the escalator at the metro, or the carousel at the zoo.  No, really - she likes those three things more than seeing the animals.  The animals she just giggled at, roared like a lion, and then put her hands out to ask to hold the animals.  I imagine she was probably thinking - "A lion?  No big deal.  I have Tessa at home."

Look really closely - the lion is sleeping along the cement in the center of the picture.

 Roaring like a lion!

Transition

About a month ago, we had L's transition meeting.  I talked briefly about this meeting in this post.  We've known about this meeting for months.  This meeting occurs before a child turns 3.  At 3 years old, the county reviews whether the child is eligible for services for any delays, and if so, the parents can decide to continue services as they have them in place currently through early intervention, or decide to terminate those services.  If those services are terminated, the county (who has already researched availability and the child's needs) recommends a program or services for the child.

There is a lot more to the process than that brief description.  But that gives a brief overview of the process.  We had been preparing for this meeting for months.  The week before the meeting, I printed all of the laws on delays, eligibility, and rights of parents.  I wanted to go in prepared to advocate for L if needed, but hoping that the meeting would go smoothly.

We know L benefits from social activities with other children.  But we also knew that L gets overwhelmed with bigger groups of kids.  Some of the programs we visited to get a glimpse at various options were great programs.  But none of them felt quite right to us.  They were too big.  Too little teacher involvement.  Or were not intensive enough for her speech needs.

As a result, we were nervous going into the meeting.  We prepared to terminate her current services, which was such a bittersweet thing to do.  Her therapists have been coming into our home for over 1.5 years now.  They have fallen in love with L, and L is so excited when each of them arrive.  They have done beautiful work with L.  They have seen her thrive in front of their eyes.  So to terminate services was in no way a reflection as to how good a job they are doing with her.  We just know that L is ready for a preschool environment.  She thrives with social interaction.  She is great with a structured environment.  And recently she has been more cooperative to doing her therapy with someone other than me or Ian.  Her therapists were all in agreement that she is ready.

As we signed that paper terminating the services, I felt my eyes well up with tears.  Then, the meeting continued into discussing what the team recommends for placement.  They chose a speech language class for her, 5-days per week, 2.5 hours per day.  They felt that it would address her speech needs and that as some of the other children in the class may have receptive language needs, that L can be the model for those children since she is not dealing with receptive issues.  She will also receive physical therapy while at school.  When they phrased it like that, Ian and I agreed that it sounded like the perfect fit.  The school is about 15 minutes from our house, and about 6 minutes from Ian's work.  Starting this fall, off she will go to school.

To start off, we will be driving her.  But we will eventually transition her to start going on the school bus.  (Just writing that sentence made me cry my eyes out.)

I was extremely emotional after the meeting.  Thinking about sending her off into someone else's care every single day makes my chest constrict.  She still seems like such a baby to me.  And to not be with her for all of her day to day experiences makes my heart hurt.  She is growing up.  So quickly.  We know she is going to do beautifully.  The hubs and I, less beautifully.  Hubs has warned me that he does not want to be the one to drop her off for the first few days.  He knows that if she cries when he goes to leave her, he'll just take her to work with him.

Big things.  Good things.  Sweet little L, not so little anymore.

First medal

Luca's second session of Dream Team ended a few weeks ago.  I talked about our experience with Dream Team in this post.

On the last day, after some organized activities, the team put on the Olympics song and the kids marched around the gym.  Then, we all gathered around in a circle and they made a podium for the kids to come and stand and get their medals.  Each child was called up to the podium where we all clapped and they received a medal.  Luca was thrilled with the whole process.

Kids can take this program a maximum of two times, and sadly it means we are all done with Dream Team.  I am so happy we had the opportunity to have Luca participate - not all counties have this program and I feel so fortunate to live where we do.  Thanks Dream Team for some great social interaction, physical activity and challenge, songs, and introducing Luca to the parachute!

Living for today

You can be a planner.  You can do everything right, follow advice precisely.  You can have a big house with a beautiful yard.  Have your family by your side.  Have a job you love.  Great friends.  You go about your life, organized.  You pay your bills.  You run errands.  You plan vacations.  You plan a life.

Then, it can all change in a second, an hour, a day.  

Everything you do to make your future bright, wiped away.  The life you had planned, gone.

How are you living?  Are you loving your life?  Are you appreciating today?

I am lucky.  I have a reminder every day, to appreciate life for what it is.  Luca, well, she gave Ian and I the perfect perspective on life.  She is such a blessing.  Every single day.  Even on days I want to pull my hair out.

Ian and I had a rough plan of our future together.  Get married, law school, work, buy a house, then a few kids thrown in to provide love and laughter in our home.  Then, Luca joined our family.  And everything about our "plan", was thrown out the window.  Financial security.  Many kids.  A house.

Life has been messy.  The downs have tested us.  But my God, the positives have been remarkable.  She is here.  A miracle in itself.

She hears a baby cry in the room, and goes over to try to provide a hug.  She sees that one of us has a scratch or cut or bump, and leans down and kisses it.  She sees Ian rub my back, and comes over to be my masseuse.  She walks into a party with people she has never met, and walks straight over and starts giving hugs.  There is a circle of kids running in circles, and she stands in the middle watching them with a smile on her face.  Other kids are hurrying to get from A to B, as she takes her time, never feeling pressured to be anyone but herself.  Someone wants to play with Luca's toy, and Luca hands it over for the child to experience it.

She is my gentle little soul.  Wise.  Observant.  A true free-spirit.  She finds joy in just about everything but especially time with people.  She loves all music.  She is confident, inviting, kind.

She is my reminder.  What is yours?

Another first

Another first for Luca's books.  First dentist appointment was today.  She was so excited!  And she even said the word "dentist" over and over again perfectly.  One of the few words she says apparently.

We will look for a new dentist after today's visit.  I had trouble understanding him, he did not read her file prior to coming over to look at her teeth (wearing latex gloves, to which she is allergic), and it was crowded and not particularly kid friendly for a kids dental office.  When I had called to make the appointment, I specifically mentioned that she has a gtube and is prone to gagging, that she had a liver transplant and will have had her antibiotic prior to the visit, and that she is latex sensitive.  I got to the office and had to reiterate all of those things.  Exhausting to do when her history is so long.

It makes me realize how spoiled we are with her care normally.  Our doctors normally prep other providers when we go to visit them for the first time so that they are in the know as to what Luca's needs are.  Not so for this dentist which meant her case was completely new to him.  She has such a long history that you could tell he was nervous to really even touch her - which then made me nervous to have him as her dentist.

After switching to latex free gloves and supplies, she opened her mouth willingly and he took a look.  No cavities.  He did not attempt to do a cleaning today and said it was not necessary.  Although I am wondering if he just did not want to mess with her much on this first visit.  Recheck in 6 months.  Question:  Did your child(ren) have a cleaning or anything at the first appointment?

At least the visit was so uneventful for Luca, painless, easy, that she left smiling and clapping that she had gone to the dentist.  Silly girl.

A side story.  While there at the dentist, I put her on my lap in the chair and leaned back for the dentist to look at her teeth.  As he was getting ready, she held out her arm and pointed to which arm she wanted stuck for blood.  Poor thing saw all the supplies and thought it was blood-draw time.  It broke my heart just a bit to know that she sees supplies and automatically thinks it is for an ouchie.

Outside obsession

I swear this child would be outside all day if I let her.  When we finally do come inside for a diaper change, or drink, or food, I battle a very willful little girl who tantrums because 5 consecutive hours outside is simply not enough time.  Gosh, I never let her do anything!

If you showed up unexpectedly on a nice day, you would likely find Tessa lazily laying in the sun (or shade if she has gotten too hot), Luca stomping around the yard or house somewhere with very dirty hands and legs, and me following behind, trying to persuade her to come inside to give my allergy eyes a break.

With the nicer weather, her weekly playgroup has been held outside at various playgrounds.  And we even had her physical therapist meet us there to do her therapy outside.  We might as well do therapy exactly where she wants to be, right?  Hopefully this obsession with being outside from morning to night will die down as things heat up outside because my eyes are on fire by midday.  Get me some allergy drops over here!  (Actually, totally already using them and they do nothing.  Any other tips?)

Communication frustration in action

When Luca first turned 2, we experienced a lot of tantrums related to her inability to communicate.  I shared that once we increased the teaching of sign language, those tantrums lessened incredibly to amount to just the normal toddler tantrums.

All of the sudden, her tantrums have increased again.  I thought it was because her brain is working so fast now in making connections, but that she is still limited in telling us those connections.  And then this happened this morning:

After waking Luca up and rocking her for a bit while she woke up fully, she asked to get down and went over to her books.  She picked one out and opened it.  On the first page, where the credits were with author and copyright info, there was a picture of a little bird.  She said "Mama" to get my attention, pointed to the bird, and then gave me the sign for cereal.  I was confused.  I said "Luca, silly, that is a bird, not cereal."  She immediately started stamping her feet, and continuing to sign cereal.  "Luca, is the bird hungry?"  More screaming, stomping, and agitation.  More signing for cereal.  "Oh, are you hungry?"  More irritation.

I thought maybe she was just hungry and signing for her cereal while we read the book.  I took her to the kitchen while she was still irritated, shaking her head and signing no.  I grabbed her box of cheerios and received an adamant no in response.  I grabbed my cereal, and Ian's cereal and offered her both.  Another adamant no in response.  I put her on the counter to let her look in the cabinet to show me what she wanted to eat.  She whined and kept looking, clearly uncertain what she looking for.

Then, it dawned on me when I saw a box at the top of the cabinet behind stuff.  I grabbed the box of cereal and she began clapping her hands and laughing hysterically.  Sure enough, it was a box of cereal that had a bird on the box.

I was amazed.  She had not had that type of cereal in over a month.  To connect the two birds as looking alike, and realize that that bird was on her cereal box was amazing to me.

Her brain had jumped and made the connection perfectly.  I just could not keep up and make the connection.  How incredibly frustrating.  This simple example shows me just how far we have to go in terms of speech and also demonstrates how well her little brain is working.

It completely verified my theory that these tantrums are speech related.  She is irritated that we do not understand her connections the way she does.  She is frustrated that she cannot explain her wants and needs.  Miss Luca, this mama will keep working and working to get that speech out of you.  I hate seeing you so frustrated and yet I completely understand why you are.  You are incredible and keep communicating how you can and hopefully this mama can keep up!

And if you are wondering about the bird pictures, here they are.

The book:

The cereal box:

First haircut

In preparation for Easter, and the fact that Luca could barely see through her very long bangs, it was time for a real haircut.  I had tried to take her a few weeks ago, only to have Ian freak out.  Apparently he is very attached to his little girl's hair.  I promised that I was only going to get her bangs trimmed up, and just have her hair reshaped a bit.  He finally said okay.

So before he could change his mind, I took her on Friday.  This is the before picture standing outside the hair place.

I was a little worried when I put her up in the seat.  She kind of started shaking and making a weird face that said she was not comfortable.  But then we propped her up a little better and she seemed to relax.  She was clearly intrigued by the whole process.  Once the hairdresser started, Luca went into a very serious mood, completely relax in a trance.

Every time I would call her name and ask if she was okay, this was her response:

Clearly she was doing just fine.  Goofy girl.

The finished product:

I would say first haircut was a success!