I am not on birth control anymore. This leads an anxious person to be anxious every. single. month. We certainly are not trying to get pregnant right now, but we've both realized that if I got pregnant, we'd be thrilled.
But each month when I get reassurance that I am not pregnant, I can't help but feel disappointed. Ian admittedly feels the same way. So what does this all mean? Do we really want to wait? Is it the right thing to wait another two freaking years to start having a family? I really do not know. We know we want at least 2, preferably 3-4 children. And if we wait another 2 years, I'll be 29 when we start having babies - that does not give us a lot of time to pop out 3-4 kids if I want to be finished being pregnant by the time I'm 35. And that's if we're so lucky to get pregnant right away.
Ugh - this ticking time bomb is crazy. Men in my law school who are married have started families, or are getting ready to start families while in school. They say it's the best time. But I'm not sure being the woman carrying the baby, while attending classes and studying for exams, and let's not forget about getting a job at a law firm while pregnant - all of that is not so easy.
And let's not forget that we haven't bought a house yet. Do we start moving forward with this now? That way we'll be in a house in time to start trying in a couple years. And also, the prices are probably the best possible right about now.
We have a lot of decisions to make - and the thought of all of them makes me excited, exhausted, nervous and emotional all at once. I am so glad I have Ian as my husband to make these decisions with. We'll be talking and thinking a lot about our priorities in the near future. Who knows what our future holds!
I can totally understand your plight. I'm 27, and as you know just went through a miscarriage with my first "pregnancy". What has it taught me? When we have babies ain't up to us. Sure, we can say we're "ready" and "trying", but the fact of the matter is it's all up to mother nature.
ReplyDeleteAs for the timing with school - I was in grad school for the first 2 years of my marriage, so like you, I felt I needed to wait, despite the fact that my biological clock has been ticking since I was like 10, lol.
Although I really don't believe there's a "right" time, I do think you'll be wise to at least wait til you're almost done with school. Law school is tough enough - you don't need the added stress of lack of sleep and zero energy. Ya know?
Just be patient - easier said than done, I know (trust me, I know), but I think you'll be happy that you did wait in the end. Just my opinion though :)
Ally - I totally agree that there probably isn't a perfect time. And logically, waiting makes sense. But ohhhh, my heart and head are saying very different thinks. I hate that! Thanks for your input!
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