Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Talk to Me Gut - Please?

Last night's fitting went much better than the first one. The dress is starting to feel like mine. It still needs some minor adjustments in the bust. The length is perfect. They are adding a hot pink tie underneath the dress to attach my grandmother's wedding band as my something old and borrowed. I tried my dress on with the earrings, the headpiece and the veil and thought whoa, I look like a bride:)

After I got home from my fitting around 10 last night, Ian and I had to have a huge discussion about law school. I found out yesterday that I've been accepted to American University but need to make a deposit within 24 hours. It wouldn't be a big deal to just go ahead and make the deposit even if it is the wrong school, except for the amount - $700 NON-refundable. We had to decide what is right for us. Right now, I'm still waiting to hear from U. Maryland and Wake Forest where I'm currently on the waitlist. I think either one of these two schools would be a higher pick than American or U. Miami. However, then money makes a difference - at Miami, I have a decent scholarship versus any of the other 3 schools. But I'm scared to live in the city of Miami, and move THAT far. Ideally, I'd love to move to North Carolina. WHAT TO DO?! WHAT TO DO?!

So we talked - and it reminded me of why I am so in love with the boy. He is so incredibly supportive. Honestly if the situation were reversed, I'm not sure I could be as good as he is being. We decided that I couldn't turn down American at this point because things are still up in the air - so even if we lose $700, it's not the end of the world. But at least putting down a deposit gives me a definite option besides Miami should I decide that Miami is indeed not for me.

So once again I'm in limbo, not sure which way I'm going to fall. I just keep looking and praying for their to be a choice that makes sense, that falls into place, that my gut will tell me which school is where I'm meant to be, or what area we're meant to start our married life in. But, my gut is speechless right now - maybe overstressed like the rest of my body and mind? I keep talking to it hoping it'll speak back to me - but so far, no such luck. But what I do know, is that I have a loving, supporting (soon-to-be) husband who is by my side through it all, and that in itself makes me feel a little less in limbo.

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