Thursday, January 14, 2010

Whether to Find Out

The lovely Nanette asked a question that has been a very common question: are you going to find out the sex of the baby?

I'm on the fence.  Well, not so much on the fence.  I actually want to wait until the baby is born.  Ian - cannot stand the idea of waiting.  Ultimately, we've decided we're likely going to find out the sex of the baby for one main reason.

The baby is due July 20th, and I start back to school at the end of August.  That means I only have 4 weeks at home with the baby before I go back to school.  And that's IF the baby is on time - which, for a first time pregnancy, the likelihood of being on time or early are pretty slim.  For me, those first few weeks are going to be filled - I'll be learning to be a new mom, I'll be breastfeeding and not sleeping as much, and I'll want to soak in as much time with the baby as possible.  I've heard that those first few weeks leave you in a fog.  Also, I'll be preparing to go back to school - getting my books, doing my reading, etc.  That doesn't leave a whole lot of time for me to be running to different baby stores to exchange outfits, or to buy more outfits for the correct gender.

Because of all of that, it really just makes sense for us to find out.  It will take away some of the stress at a time that will be all new to me.  But as much as it makes sense logically, there is a part of me that is disappointed we'll be finding out early.  There's something about going through labor and having that anticipation of not knowing whether you will have a daughter or son that thrills me, and that anticipation makes me think that labor might be a little easier (not less painful) if you still have a surprise.

At the end of the day, I have to think of what's best for us at this point in our lives.  The timing just seems too tight to leave that kind of a surprise.  As of right now, we'll be finding out the gender in about 5-7 weeks.  Wow, after typing that, I got a little butterfly - it makes me excited.  Maybe finding out isn't such a bad idea :)


  1. I think it is a very tough and personal decision. I have had friends do it both ways, and I can tell you that they still love the baby just the same ;)! There will always be a surprise factor, always a first time with this - you've got a 50/50 shot whether you find out now or later!

    It's similiar to whether you see the groom/bride before the ceremony or when you first open the doors and walk down the aisle. Either way it's still your first time!

    I think you will figure it out - you can always wait until the appointment after you are able to find out to see how you feel!

  2. I think a lot of people are waiting to find out these days. You can always go with gender neutral items!

    Or perhaps Ian could just find out (to satisfy his need to know) and it could still be a surprise to you?

    I'm like Ian though - I can't wait for that type of information!

  3. I'm like Ian too, I just would NOT be able to hold out that long. I would need to know as soooooon as I could! haha!

  4. I admire the folks who can wait...

    ...but I thought my head was going to explode just waiting to 18 weeks!

    Thanks for answering my question!

  5. Hey there, longtime lurker, first-time poster here. Congratulations on your pregnancy... What an exciting time for you and Ian both! I am a hopeful law student (probably at the same LS as you) and Baltimorean, and my husband and I have definitely considered having a baby during LS (I have been surprised by the number of female lawyers who tell me they are either do glad they did or wish they did!!) and I can't wait to follow your journey. Good luck with the upcoming semester!

  6. Stacy - That's so true that it'll be the first time whether it's at week 20 or at week 40 when he/she decides to grace us with his/her presence.

    Kim - Gender neutral items I don't mind, but once the baby arrives I'm sure I'm going to want gender specific clothes and just won't have the time to be getting any. And who are we kidding - Ian keep a secret - not possible!

    Kyla - Ha then you are most certainly like Ian. He cannot wait to find out!

    Nanette - Thank you for asking the question!

    Anonymous - Welcome! Thanks so much for delurking!! Ahhh after reading about all my law school craziness I cannot believe you're a hopeful law student - ha. I will say that it's not entirely normal to see pregnant ladies in classes in the day program. But I'll be one of the few I guess! Thanks so much for the well wishes.


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