Two steps forward, one step back

Home after a two night stay in the hospital with L. I had a total meltdown yesterday morning.  L is having the same complication she had for a year following transplant.  It is so hard to have us back there in that position with complications, after having over 1.5 years of no major complications.  Life had begun to take on some normalcy.

I am disappointed and sad that she has to go through something else.  But it is different this time too.  She is more aware which makes it both easier and harder.  Easier because she can kind of ignore that she now has a foreign bag attached to her body.  Harder because she is less tolerant of being in the hospital, going through procedures, getting poked for labs and IVs.

There was talk of putting a PICC line in since she will need repeat procedures in the coming weeks and months.  But for now, she is PICC free.  I imagine she will end up getting one during one of her next visits.  They got an IV in on the 6th try this time, and her veins certainly will not continue to handle that for long.

The phrase repeated this entire visit, "this ain't our first rodeo."  We've been through this exact issue before.  We have the knowledge now to know what works with Luca and these procedures, and what has caused issues in the past.  We know what worked last time to fix it.

I have faith in her team.  The interventional radiologist is the chief and is excellent.  Her transplant team is experienced with this and knows L well.  The nurses...oh the nurses.  They are simply wonderful and it feels so nice to walk into a place we do not want to be, and see their faces.

Happy to be home today.  L has recovered from her procedures beautifully.  She is giggling and playing normally.  She is running around normally.  I needed to see that today.  To see her bounce back, despite what she continues to go through.  It helps me bounce back too.  She continues to teach me.  And for that, I am so grateful.