"No matter how experienced you become in your profession, never lose compassion."
I wrote that on facebook yesterday. What prompted that was a series of mishaps regarding Luca's care. Let me back up and start from the beginning.
I realized very early on that the medical profession is a unique one, and that the people in it are for the most part, amazingly talented, courageous, and warm. There have been a few exceptions to that but we usually take it with a grain of salt and move on.
Trusting my daughter's care and health into a team's hands is not something I take lightly. When you have a child that has a "team", it typically means you talk to those doctors and nurses more than some of your own friends. They become a sort of family in a way.
Recently, the team has undergone some pretty big changes. New members have become a part of the team and roles have shifted. Ian and I knew there would be a period of transition in which things may not go as smoothly as normal so we reminded ourselves to be patient until things smoothed out.
Then, a few things happened that made the mean mama bear come out of me. I became extremely upset with some miscommunication and lack of communication on some pretty important things for Luca. I was angry. I was upset. I knew these things needed to be addressed but knew it had to be done very carefully.
Ultimately, I ended up having a very open and candid conversation with one of her team members and the conversation went beautifully. The bottom line is that compassion, on my part for the situation her team is in, and on their part, for our role as her parents, allowed that conversation to happen in a manner that will benefit Luca. It was mature, caring, helpful. After all, I reminded them that at the end of the day, our goal as her parents and as their team is to provide the best care possible for Luca and that can only happen if we all are working together.
The medical team is full of human beings that are not perfect. There will be mistakes. Hopefully, minor ones like what we have experienced. But if everyone can approach one another with compassion, the working relationship can continue to grow and improve. As much as I wanted to call and yell and complain, I knew that it would not help anyone. It would not help me advocate for Luca even though it might make me feel a bit better. Her team would not learn from it and it may have even pissed them off.
Compassion. A beautiful thing. Powerful. Never let go of it. It can make or break a situation.