Breaking Point

This semester has been really hard for me for various reasons.  I had been trying to manage my stress throughout the semester.  But I finally hit a wall today.  The schoolwork is kicking my butt, I have family drama that always seems to emerge at the most inopportune times, and I'm overwhelmed with the amount of stuff that needs to be done to prepare for baby's arrival - the stuff that can't wait like interviewing a doula and possibly changing OB practices (this is a whole other post in itself).  And I'm feeling so incredibly alone. 

Nobody can help me with the schoolwork.  Everyone is tired of the family drama and wants to ignore it (I don't blame them), and/or people just don't know what to suggest to help the situation anymore - we've tried everything I can think of.  And as much as Ian can help with some of the baby preparations, ultimately a lot of it rests on my shoulders (because he can't choose a new OB practice or the doula for us).

I'm tired.  I've been crying off an on all day.  My anxiety is at an all-time high.  I know my anxiety is not good for baby girl which makes me even more overwhelmed/guilty/upset.  This is supposed to be the most amazing time in my life - but today it's not feeling so amazing.  I am incredibly grateful that baby girl is happy and healthy in there, and that I'm having a very smooth pregnancy.  But these other areas of my life - something's gotta give.