This won't surprise anyone that truly knows me. As I've gotten older, my urge to plan things has become even more fine tuned. You see, when I make dinner plans with someone, or plans to go do something with a friend, or am going to meet up with friends for happy hour, I put it in my calendar. That's just the way I work.
I didn't used to be quite like this - but then I graduated college and started working in the "real world" and realized that time away from work is truly precious time. If I make plans with someone, I am taking time away from my husband and time that could be used for "me time". So when people cancel without truly having an excuse, it is mind-boggling to me, and leads to something much more than just disappointment.
Of course, if a friend calls and says "I'm so sorry" and that such and such has come up and it's just looking like it's not going to work, I would be nothing other than understanding because stuff does come up! But when a friend cancels with me or is wishy-washy about making it because something else has come up, in the name of "better plans", I get pissed. I think it is incredibly disrespectful. I'd prefer to not have made plans in the first place. Because when someone invites me to do something one night, I block that night out for my friend - I feel they deserve that! Don't I deserve the same?
Recently I've realized people don't handle these situations the same way. Still - I don't get it! At the end of the day, I get sad and upset and feel super hurt that this person didn't treat me with respect. So for those non-planners out there - give a planner a little courtesy, because when we put things in pen in our calendars, it means we are looking forward to those plans from the day we write it on there. All of that built up excitement can be wiped away and replaced with feelings of hurt. I am courteous in blocking off time for you, because I want to spend time catching up and seeing you, so it'd be nice for you to do the same. And when you don't - don't be surprised when I want to kick your ass. Thanks!
And yes - 2 sets of plans changed this week because of non-planners. Assholes - so much for celebrating!
I am SO with you on this one. I HATE HATE HATE when people wait until the last minute to cancel plans.
ReplyDeleteKim - I knew when we made plans for the first time when you said you were adding it to your planner in pen, we'd totally get along!
ReplyDeleteFrieds - this quality of yours places you within a special category: A True Friend. THANK YOU for being so dependable, loving, and honest. A date with you is a gift and we all know it, even those who cancel or flake! Some are studying what you have already learned, and mastered.
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