One Down - 3 To Go!

I realize my posts recently have been less than interesting considering most of them have been about work! But sadly - that's just what's occupying my life at the moment. I had my first exam today for Property. It was not fun studying for it as it's the only exam that you have to memorize - about 50 single-spaced typed pages full of rules and information I had to memorize. I have NO idea how I did - I'm just glad it's over.

I think all people deal with stress differently. Some aren't as affected by it as others. Others are highly affected. Whether people isolate themselves, lash out, or carry stress in some other way (pass gas, stop eating, whatever). I personally carry stress in various ways. Since I was little, I've always had anxiety problems. I think it probably started when my grandmother died when I was 5 years old. She lived with us some of the time and watched my brother and I - so she was extremely close with us. Soon afterwards, I faced my first set of anxieties, even if I couldn't recognize it as that at the time. I was scared...of people close to me dying. I still to this day have fears about that - and not the normal you don't want something bad to happen to anyone fears, fears that could eat up time and lead me to crying.

Over the years, different events have happened in my life that have sparked similar anxiety issues. I was fortunate enough to learn how to deal with it without medication - I learned breathing exercises, write in a journal, and read a little meditation book each day that gives me a simple thing to focus on for the day.

But the one thing that I have not been able to control through techniques is that I carry a lot of my anxiety in my...stomach. This will probably be way TMI, but my stomach gets ridiculously upset when I'm anxious or nervous. Enter exams into my life - and it seems as if my stomach is constantly gurgling and doing weird things. So what to do? I've learned that if it's really bad, I take Immodium and just doing that normally puts me at ease to stop my stomach from feeling weird. Ahhh - thank god Ian is understanding of my sensitive stomach. I'm always amazed at how understanding he is because he's the complete opposite - he rarely gets any form of anxiety or nervousness and his stomach is rock solid.

I only share these things because I've learned that I am far from being the only one with anxiety problems. Through opening up and sharing these things, I've learned it's okay to have our own little issues. Hopefully through sharing, it may ease our little fears just a tad, knowing we aren't alone.