Friday, June 17, 2011

Pretending we are not that close

I have been ignoring some of my favorite blogs.  Not because I do not want to read what is going on in their lives.  But specifically, I am ignoring any posts that relate to planning a child's first birthday party.

I so desperately want to look forward to Luca's first birthday.  And it will be a celebration of one hell of a year of life.

My old self pre-Luca would have planned a party for such an occasion.  I would have gone all out.  And I would love to do that now.  But I do not know where she will be near her birthday - in the hospital, or at home?  How do I plan a party when she could be admitted on the date of the celebration?

So I apologize if I am not writing on your post about your baby's first birthday.  It is such an exciting occasion for any parent and I ordinarily would love to hear what you are doing to celebrate.  But I cannot do it right now.

How do you think you would handle this situation? 

My best friend offered to plan the party and suggested we have two rain dates (but in our case, it would be because she is in the hospital).  I am certainly thinking that might be an option.  But will people hold that many dates? Will people understand why we have to do that, and be okay with it?  And will people follow the instructions that if you or a kid has a sniffle, you do not come?  And will people think it is weird that instead of being greeted first with hugs, they will be greeted with signs to use the hand sanitizers throughout the party?

And do not even get me started on the cake-eating tradition for first-birthdays.  How do I handle that when my baby hates food? 

See what I mean?  This is overwhelming!  Lots to think about.  We obviously cannot let the occasion go without some celebration.  But what kind of celebration can we, or should we plan?


  1. Your friends will certainly hold on to multiple dates. They will certainly understand that they shouldn't be bringing a sick kid into your house. They will certainly understand that they should use hand sanitizers!

    Don't worry about what other people think. If they find what you're asking to be "too much" then they're turds.

  2. Personally I wouldn't want people at my child's birthday that don't understand that. For Rex's first year (and second year) I really had to be careful of what he was exposed to and people were judgmental about it but I have to say the people that were understanding are the people that are still standing by. We are lucky and don't have to be super careful now. You will know what you need to do for your family and create traditions that work for you not what the the world says you have to do. We did the whole birthday cake and Rex didn't even get into it. We had to push his hand in it and he didn't like it. Once he tasted all the yummy sugar he was more ok with it but I really wish we would have done something else. Remember what a blessing a child is and that you know what is best.

  3. I am so sorry you feel this way but it is understandable. I agree with the previous post - your true family and friends will hold multiple dates for your little girl. She is a fighter and she absolutely deserves (so do you and Ian) to celebrate the begining of a new year. I hope that you can get with your friend who offered to help plan and get to planning. Oh and hand sanitizer - come on if people do not respect her health by using it screw them! Dont let them in the door!! lol

    Now come on, let us know - you have thought of a theme of some sort right?!!? ;)

    It will be okay, I know that on her monthly bdays she has been admitted but maybe this month (her 1 year) will be the start of less or no admissions! Prayers for that.

  4. We were in the hospital with Corrigan just a week before his first birthday. I refused to even buy plates and napkins. Somehow it felt worse to have it all ready and be let down than to have nothing at all. The nurses told us to send out the invites, buy the gifts and prepare to celebrate. Sort of a defiant "thumbing of the nose" at the Universe kind of thing.

    So we went home, we planned for that following Saturday, we told them there was a chance it would be cancelled and they all understood!

    And yeah, we want to celebrate that first year milestone, especially when it was such a rough first year, but Luca doesn't know it is a specific date-you can celebrate Luca any time at all!

    As for cake, neither of mine would touch it and only one had feeding issues, in fact, Corrigan hasn't tasted any of his birthday cakes in three years, just poked his finger in the icing. Who knows, she might discover icing in the most delicious tasting thing in the world!

    I know it is hard but you are surrounded by so many people that love you guys and will drop EVERYTHING at a moment's notice to come over and sing Happy Birthday. No matter the date on the calendar.


  5. I agree with the previous posts. Your friends and family will understand and want to celebrate with you! Luca is such a special little girl who should be celebrated and showered with birthday wishes!! My youngest was in the hospital the whole week before her first birthday at the height of RSV and flu season. Everyone was very respectful to use hand sanitizers and not pass her around. She did a kind of "meet and greet" from her high chair. Our guests were each able to come up within a reasonable distance to say hi and be entertained by her. She was also a little leery of going to people at the time, so being able to perform and interact from her seat made her very comfortable.
    How about a diaper cake for Luca and real cake for the guests? I've made quite of few of these for friends and family. They are so fun and easy! You can attach teethers, socks, binkies, rattles, hairbows, and top it off with a cute 1 yr. stuffed animal. You can also just set a jarred candle in front of it for singing. She'll be more happy with a bunch of new toys to stick in her mouth than the icing anyway! Happy planning:)


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