This very moment

"I can't wait for _________ to happen."  I can't wait to be married.  I can't wait to have kids.  I can't wait to be finished with school. I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait.  I hear fellow parents say things about wanting to be out of a certain stage with their child.  I can't wait for her to sleep through the night. I can't wait to see him crawl or roll over.

Sound familiar?  Why are we constantly wishing time away? 

Then, I hear others not wanting to move onto the next stage.  Wanting to hold time because it's going too quickly.  Wanting a baby to stay in that young stage to snuggle and stay small and cute.

Luca has taught me a lot.  Her having some health challenges has taught me a lot.  One of the greatest things I've learned is to cherish this moment.  This very moment.  Right now. 

Even when it is hard and I am struggling and feeling overwhelmed, I am loving this very moment.  Even though this age is tiring and I feel exhausted so much, I am loving this very moment.  And I do not wish time stands still.  Not one bit.  Because of her health challenges, I have learned to appreciate and rejoice in every milestone.  Whether it is that she's gained weight and is growing, uses her hands a new way, is getting stronger everyday, has a new facial expression, makes a new sound - I am cherishing that each and every little thing is happening.

I do not want time to stand still.  I do not want to hold her in this very moment.  I will cherish each and every new achievement because the fact that she is still here, the fact that she is even attempting new things and succeeding at them is something to celebrate.  Her life is a celebration.  I never understood that until now.  Until we have been through the biggest struggle of our lives. 

This very moment, thank You.