I have many faults. I am completely aware that I am not the easiest person to be friends with. Conversations with friends often include the crap going on in my life with Luca. My life is not all sunshine. I do not always get around to sending thank you notes (although it is something I am working on). People have done tremendous things for us since Luca was born. I may not always show our gratefulness...but I would hope that people know just how very grateful we are. I go long periods of time without keeping in touch. I forget friends birthdays. I have a list of weddings and babies that I need to send gifts for...and little by little I send them (when I can space out the spending a bit). I always want to get together with friends, and care so deeply for them, but time slips away and then it has been months since I said we should get together.
I am not perfect. I have many faults. But I go to bed at night knowing one thing...I am doing the best I can every.single.day. There is a little innocent being who requires therapy, homework, many appointments, and love. And she is my first priority. There is a man in my life who through it all, is holding my hand. He is my priority. Our marriage is my priority.
I am doing my very best to find balance for everyone in my life. So to my family, friends, acquaintances, blog friends, strangers - I care about you deeply, even when I fail to recognize what an amazing person you are when you deserve to be reminded. Even when I forget your birthday. Even when I do not send a gift when a gift is due. Even when I go long periods of time without talking to you. Even when I miss being at your shower, party, wedding, etc. Even when it seems like I do not recognize all the wonderful things you have done or said.
Please know that I think about all of these things every day, even though you may not know it. I think about how I can improve. I am trying.