When L first came home from the hospital, we were still being included on invites for birthdays, get-togethers, baby showers, dinners, etc. But the more times we've had to say "so sorry we can't make it to ______, but have a great time", the more events we've been left out of.
People stop asking. I don't blame them. You don't keep asking people to do stuff when they repeatedly tell you no.
One of the most frustrating things about L being on a transplant list is that we cannot afford for her to get sick. We really can't take her to any event. And now, being that it's flu season, we are requiring that anyone who visits our house have gotten the flu shot. You see, if she gets a cold, it already is dangerous for her metabolic condition, but if we were to get the call saying a liver is ready for her, but she has a cold at the time, she can't take the liver.
I feel so isolated. We can't take her to see friends. I get on facebook and see other friends who have recently become moms going to mommy groups. I would love to be a part of these. For the support, to ask questions, to feel a connection with others who are new parents. But I can't take her. We can't take a chance. So I sit in our house, just the two of us, reading about things online, and going for our daily walks.
Ian gets to go to work, have adult conversations, have a sense of normalcy in his life. I'm in no way implying that him going to work and then coming home to care for L is easier (what he does is HARD, I know that). I'm just saying that he has outside human contact. I want that.
Do you know how much I would've loved to take her to the halloween party we were invited to? How much I would've loved to take her to the baby shower I was invited to? How much I would love to be in a mommy group? How much I would love for the people who have been praying for her and supporting us, to actually meet her? How much I want to show off our daughter, who fought so amazingly to be here?
But we can't, we can't take a chance.