Wednesday, November 17, 2010

We can't take a chance

When L first came home from the hospital, we were still being included on invites for birthdays, get-togethers, baby showers, dinners, etc.  But the more times we've had to say "so sorry we can't make it to ______, but have a great time", the more events we've been left out of.

People stop asking.  I don't blame them.  You don't keep asking people to do stuff when they repeatedly tell you no.

One of the most frustrating things about L being on a transplant list is that we cannot afford for her to get sick.  We really can't take her to any event.  And now, being that it's flu season, we are requiring that anyone who visits our house have gotten the flu shot.  You see, if she gets a cold, it already is dangerous for her metabolic condition, but if we were to get the call saying a liver is ready for her, but she has a cold at the time, she can't take the liver.

I feel so isolated.  We can't take her to see friends.  I get on facebook and see other friends who have recently become moms going to mommy groups.  I would love to be a part of these.  For the support, to ask questions, to feel a connection with others who are new parents.  But I can't take her.  We can't take a chance.  So I sit in our house, just the two of us, reading about things online, and going for our daily walks. 

Ian gets to go to work, have adult conversations, have a sense of normalcy in his life.  I'm in no way implying that him going to work and then coming home to care for L is easier (what he does is HARD,  I know that).  I'm just saying that he has outside human contact.  I want that.

Do you know how much I would've loved to take her to the halloween party we were invited to?  How much I would've loved to take her to the baby shower I was invited to?  How much I would love to be in a mommy group?  How much I would love for the people who have been praying for her and supporting us, to actually meet her?  How much I want to show off our daughter, who fought so amazingly to be here? 

But we can't, we can't take a chance. 


  1. I know right now it seems like infinitely far away, but one day you WILL get to do all that, and L will love you even more for keeping her safe until her transplant happens :) Just keep your eye on the prize.

  2. Are you on any new mothers discussion boards? Those may help with any questions.

    And it might look weird, but could you take L to a play group or something with a face mask on?

  3. It must feel very isolating but at least you that you focusing on L's best interest. And the day that you get the call that there is a liver for L you will be so thankful you kept her safe and ready for her transplant! Keep your spirits up....

  4. I got my flu shot. I've already had and gotten over my winter cold. You let me know when I can drop off dinner and then take you out for a drink!!

  5. Well, I am very grateful to have you as a blog buddy, because I probably wouldn't be able to meet you in person anyway. I can imagine it would be frustrating not to be able to go out. We did go to a halloween party...and baby Jay got the Flu just know it is for the best.

  6. Oh Katie my heart just goes out to you! As the others have said, you will be able to do all those things again one day just not today. Perhaps talking with the doctors or see what other mothers in your same position do?


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