I'm pretty sure the majority of people have had their share of friends over the years. It seems like it's fairly normal that friends come in and out of your life, sometimes for a chapter, a few, or possibly if you're lucky, they've been there for your entire book called life. Friends sometimes are in your life because of mutual interests or fall out of your life just because you went separate ways, had a falling out, or possibly just lost touch.
I recently had a situation that presented itself that made me wonder - what are the cause of all of these changes in friends, and if you do fall out of each other's lives, what does that mean. Was it not a true friendship to begin with? Or was it just not strong enough? Or was it something to do with him/her, both of you, or you? And it sometimes leaves me wondering, why was it so easy for them to walk away from me?
When friends go out of my life, I sometimes take it as if I've just broken up. It sometimes produces that same type of pain. Was it me? Was it them? Was it mutual?
At least for me, I think it depends on what people value in friendships. People have different definitions of who friends should be and how they should act. For me, I value a friend who when I ask for their opinion, they'll give it to me straight. I want someone by my side who will call me out when I'm being mean, rude, or terrific. I'm okay with disagreeing with friends. I'm okay with tough love. But when I ask a friend to go easy, they know that I need them to lean on and respond accordingly. It's all about communication for me. I have some friends who I can go months without talking to, but still consider one of my best. That's a true friendship to me. I want a friend to say be able to disapprove of something I've done, or disagree with an opinion of mine, but still love me all at the same time. Same goes for my feelings towards my friends - sometimes they drive me bananas, but it's a true friendship if they are driving me bananas but I still love their craziness all in one.
I also think friends have different purposes in our lives I think. I had a horrible sophomore year of college in terms of roommates (this is a whole story that is blogworthy - but that's for another day). I befriended a couple of people who I no longer keep in touch with. But I will always think of them fondly because they took me under their wings in a way, and for that I am eternally greatful. They helped me out of a situation that I thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel.
One of my close friends is facing something very difficult in her life. Something that I cannot imagine having to face at just 23 years old. Her strength, love, and kindness even while she is battling something really put things in perspective for me. It made me realize, that no matter who comes in or out of our lives, it's those few friends who are with you no matter what, whether they're in my life for just a chapter, or from the beginning, I cherish you. To those of you who realize how crazy I am, how terrible I am with returning phone calls, how particular I am, and you still love me, well that's just amazing.